According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
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Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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