Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize