and she was petting her beer can
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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