yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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