It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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