You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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