That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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