So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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