Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize