My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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