How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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