1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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