If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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