I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize