I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize