i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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