i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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