I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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