I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize