he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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