At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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