I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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