it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
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It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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