right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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