I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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