we made out on top of his cat.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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