3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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