are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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