can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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