either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize