Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just high enough for therapy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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