I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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