Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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