I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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