I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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