don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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