I accidentally burped into my bong.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize