hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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