Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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