the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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