what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
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she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
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We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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