sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize