Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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