all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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