I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize