it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize