As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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