Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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