i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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