It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize